The metaphor of the butterfly’s transformation has always held a fascination for me. Almost autobiographical in nature. There was a time in my life where circumstances left me feeling cocooned. A time when I was bubbled wrapped, safe apart from the world, an observer.
I believed that my Creator was using this time to heal some hurts, build some perseverance, endurance, forgivingness, and teach me some lessons that I would need in the outside world. Important lessons that would shape my life from then on. Much like the butterfly getting out of the Cocoon was a struggle, but part of the growth. I looked back on this time of my life and loved it some much, I am writing a children’s book on the topic, in my spare time, so it’s been over 15 years and it is still in process.
Then March 2020 rolled around, and we around the world learned a new word, Covid19. The world began to Cocoon. I realized in this moment, as my workplace became my home, as my restaurants became my home, as I no longer could see and touch my family or friends, that this was a new sort of Cocoon.
Over the years, I had learned new lessons and unlearned others. I turned to friends to get advice before the Creator at times. I turned to food for comfort instead of the Comforter (another name we have for the Creator). In my years outside the Cocoon, I had, in fact, found new hurts along the way and carried them with me.
I called this season Cocoon 2.0
Embrace the yuck – Let everything change. I began to examine everything. My heart, my home, my closest, what I ate, watched, listen to, what I spent time thinking about, who I spent time with (virtually). I think it was almost 2 months without a hug, that is hard when your love language is touch. I let myself feel my feelings instead of trying to push them away, which was my default mode. It was good, I felt like I was changing, and I had the summer to continue to cause the government and church leaders said nothing going to change until September.
Then May happened, I was now jobless, in Covid19. I thought I knew what it was like to be in a cocoon over 15 years ago, then in March, but having been out of work for over a month when the country is just starting to “Open Up.” Cocooned has a whole new meaning. I went from seeing thousands of people a week, emailing with hundreds, chatting, and meeting with dozens to nothing. Literally, there have been days when my phone doesn’t ring, and unless I call someone I don’t hear from anyone (sorry Mom and Dad you don’t count)
In my other sequesterings I always still had work, some form of it, some way to contribute to the world at large. It still mattered to someplace, that I show up that I put in my time, that I show my face.
I had a title, a salary, an office, a position. I didn’t know that I cared about those things until they were gone.
Now I am truly Cocooned, learning from my Creator. Wondering what He will show me. Real Caterpillars go into their cocoons for 5-21 days. That is it – that is how long it takes them to transform. I wonder how long this cocooning will take?
Join me on my blog to follow me on this journey.